Ironhide meets Uncle Fred
by beesting08
Summary: What happens when Uncle Fred meets Ironhide? both essentric warriors, will they survive each other or will and outside threat get them? warning lang used and death themes, nothing graphic
1. Chapter 1

Uncle Fred meets Ironhide

Oneshot

Disclaimer: if I owned it ya think id be doing this?

WARNING: Lang use i.e. cursing

Constructive criticism welcome not flames

Two soldiers stood in the woods, one eons old and, the other only had seen decades of war. Both sat in the quiet woods, waiting for the other to move. Fred lay on his stomach in the leafy undergrowth. His green fatigues and camo paint blending him perfectly to the landscape. He looked out into the darkening forest. The oaks and pines softly whispered in the breeze. Small underbrush made for great hiding places. He had been sent on a mission to gather intel on a group of supposed terrorist hiding in the woods. That had been 4 days ago. He had stumbled onto a titanic machine that obviously was used as a weapon. Quietly crawling in to get a better look he lay still when it moved.

In a single motion the machine had stood and turned to where the intruder lay. Fred cursed himself for tripping a sensor continued to remain still, and so the wait began. Neither had moving for 4 days, both had weapons trained on the other. Neither could get a kill shot with out serous damage to the other.

Finally the titanic machine spoke breaking the stale mate.

"Human put down your rifle and walk away." It said in a deep voice

"Like hell!" Fred said, "I don't fail at my missions!" To Fred's utter shock the machine laughed. To which Fred responded with a simple phrase "Do you enjoy breathing?"

The machine looked at him and lowered his weapon, smiling. "Human! What is your designation?"

"Ohh you can just call me your maker" Fred said dead pan rifle still leveled at the machines gears.

"Well I am Ironhide, a cybernetic life form from another planet. Personally I would have terminated you, but my superior insists on not harming this planets life! Such hindrances, you would have made a great trophy to brag about. You have not moved in 4 days! Had my scanners not been on I would have been caught unaware of your presence." Ironhide finished with a flurry of hissing cannons going on standby.

Fred got up and held his rifle ready. "Ya and if I killed you it would take a hell of a lot of energy to cut out your heart." He eyed the machines torso seeing where he would have to pry and cut for the organ.

Ironhide asked a question while looking at his canons for scratches "how is it that you are so stealthy? Most of your species is very noisy."

"Well" Fred began "If I told you I'd have to kill you. But let me tell you I love my job, get to blow up shit and get paid for it."

At this last comment Ironhide had a gleam pass over his optics. "Oh and what is it that you know how to blow up?"

"Hmmmm," Fred said while running a hand over his shaved and camo painted head "Nikie missiles, napalm, mines, grenades, rocket launchers, you name it I can do it!"

"Ha! Those are such a weak array of talents. " Ironhide laughed, "I myself have been able to shoot laser cannons with dead accuracy in gravity wells, and plasma rounds from 3 miles out, by your measurements. Shooting multiple targets while under fire and having a seekers missile un-detonated in my leg!"

Fred seeing the challenge rose to the challenge. "Impressive, But I bet you a sticky bomb will do a whole lot of damage to that frame of yours. Add a couple of 50 cal. Shots to your torso and I think I would have you."

Ironhide powered up a canon and pointed it at Fred "Not if I get the first shot off." He said as he saw his target raise his own weapon in time with him. "Ha you are a true warrior, what other battles have you done human?"

Ironhide and Fred became war buddies after their first meeting. The supposed terrorists in the woods were quickly forgotten due to classified information. If one was to go in the woods and see the pair, which wouldn't happen since the closest they would get is a 4 miles, you would see old warriors swapping stories and ideas for hours on end on how to blow up things and the best way to kill something.

Author note: Hope this was edited enough for ya'll. 


	2. Chapter 2 Trouble!

Chapter 2 War stories and trouble…

Disclaimer: I only own the character uncle Fred (ask before you use him in stories)

WARNING! Adult curses used!

This chapter came into existence thanks to flamingmarsh.

Ironhide walked threw the peaceful forest making his way to the rendezvous point. The sun almost gown making darkness fall and providing cover for his dark frame. Approaching the area he noticed something was not right. He could feel it in his cannons. Silently he charged both his cannons and stalked closer to the reeve point.

Suddenly gunfire exploded hitting his armor pinging off in yellow sparks. Rolling to the left he crouched behind and small tree. This only gave his right optic cover from the dense fire. Moving his cannon into position he fired off three shot where the fire was coming from. Silence descended again until a grenade exploded showering him in dirt and old leaves. Whirling around he caught a glimpse of his target. Lunging forward he let one shot fire enveloping and passing threw his target!!

The figure lowered his rifle, standing there still as the trees in the forest, His body blending perfectly into the forest. Ironhide lowered his cannons and in his gruff voice spoke over the distance between the two. "I see you have become better at your assault tactics."

"Yes, but not good enough to avoid your training rounds. If that was real I would not be standing here." Fred ending rubbing his camo painted mustache with a hand. "I really caught you off guard though, HA! Your face was priceless. You didn't know what was going on." Cradling his rifle he started to walk over to Ironhide.

Ironhide made a gruff sound before speaking "I was not caught unaware, I merely have my sensors turned off while approaching our reeve point so as to give you some semblance of a chance!"

"Very kind of you, my friend." Fred said coming up to the warrior who he had been his sparing partner for over 6 months now. "Yaw know this reminds me of a fire fight in Nam once. Only lasted 30 seconds but 13 men were killed." Shaking his head at the resurfacing memory.

"To kill another does not take long" Ironhide said getting a distant look to memories of comrades lost. Not moving from his distant stare he asked, "How did the fight happen?"

Sighing Fred moved to a crouch all the while his rifle still in hand, eyes wary for intruders. "We were crossing a river, the whole platoon of us. We needed to relocate. I was across the river when the smell of them came down the jungle. Nam has many smells and it humidity doesn't help at all. But god will I ever forget the smell of them. They have these rice balls with rotten sauce on it. That is there rations. I smelled them and signaled to the others. Taking up positions we ready for the firefight. The ones in the river tried to move quietly, but the channel was quick moving making silence hard. Then the shooting started. I felt the wiz of bullets pass my head. We returned fire, killing the small group in the brush. Just a bunch of kids really, children that shot and killed my comrades." Ironhide stood unmoving while Fred continued his story. "The ones in the river either got injured or killed. The river was moving to swift to grab the bodies before they were washed away. Still haven't recovered them. All the while we never saw you shot us, until we went to retrieve the bodies."

Silence stretched between the two, Ironhide shifted and looked down at Fred with blue optics. "Do you mourn them?"

"Yes I do. I mourn them, but am not broken by it. I've seen far worse for that," Fred said standing. "Our little skirmish just reminded me of how you cant always see your enemy."

"It is equally so for us." Ironhide said, "Some of our enemies can disappear all together. Not my camouflage, but by altering there wave lengths to the optics. We were on a planet, whose name I have long forgotten. We were fighting the enemy both of us were pinned down in our _click whirl squeal_ dug out is the term you use. Neither had moved for weeks and supplies were running low on our side. I would imagine it was the same for our enemy. We were about to make a charge for them when fire open on your flanks. The pit spawns had snuck up behind up using there invisibility. We took fire from both sides. I fired both my cannons on each to try and stop the onslaught. Many of my comrades died and many injured. We only escaped due to Primus's will. Still have the melt scars to show I survived."

Fred stood listening while keeping watch on there six. "War is an ugly thing, not this glory politicians like to put out."

Hours passed as the two passed stories between each other, all the while standing guard, never letting their vigil drop. It was this that allowed the two to see the approaching threat. Ironhide crouched down while Fred took up a position behind a large oak. Fred signaled Ironhide he saw five to the south. Ironhide likewise had five as well. The figures creep closer their black fatigues making them stand out then blend into the shadows.

Fred reached into his pack that had previously been on his hip. Taking out a claymore he planted it near his position and set for remote detonation. Ironhide signaled for them to pull back. The group continued to advance; all the while Fred planted little surprises in the brush. Trip mines and pressure grenades the choice of the day. Crouching he signaled to Ironhide he was finished, then a flash of flame caught their respective eyes/optics. Fred moved to push Ironhides leg out of the way. Ironhide feeling the prompt moved just in time to avoid a rocket to his knee.

Both opened fire, Fred shot his rifle killing or wounding the approaching threat. Ironhide's cannons pulsed and voomed with energy fire. Blowing up trees and having the aftershock take out any targets that he missed. Then a grenade pinged of his side and exploded midair on his right canon arm. Twists metal covered his arm and energon leaked down his arm hissing as it passed his hot cannon. The damage was minor but using his right cannon would be impossible. He turned when he heard a growl of pain. Fred repositioned himself from his bullet wound. Blood leaked through his fatigues staining them dark with blood. Gritting his teeth he discarded his near empty magazine. Grabbing another from his side he tapped it on a nearby tree and slapped it home.

Only five targets remained from what Fred could tell. An explosion signaled that some had found his little surprise. Firing his rifle he managed to pin some targets to the tree he had set the claymore up at. Moving one hand to his hip pack he found the button to the claymore and pressed it. The explosion spewed dirt and blood. The ground shook as another explosion rocked the ground taking Ironhide to his knees.

The next few seconds happened fast. Three dark figures moved to flank the warriors. One shot Fred's trigger hand before he could fire more than three shots. Two hit home to one figure dropping him to the ground. Ironhide shot one target vaporizing him, leaving the distraction the last one needed. Rising what looked like a grenade launcher he fired a blue bolt of energy at Ironhide, overloading his circuits and putting him immobilized. The figure spoke softly hefting the strange gun at Fred. "Well, Well you weren't to hard to get." He spoke in Ironhides direction. This made Fred look at him like he was a crazy man. Seeing this he continued to speak. "Oh yes he can hear me, more like stunned you might say, like when you drug a person."

Fred lay still clutching his hand in faking pain. The wound did hurt but he had experienced worse. He slowly worked his way to his side arm on his right. All the while the man in black fatigues gloated to the paralyzed Ironhide. Releasing his glock from it catch he raised it slowly. Shooting the man on both hands, causing him to drop the gun. Then he shot his knees out. Rising with little difficultly he spoke.

"One, never underestimate your enemy. Two, your not worth the sweat off my ass!!" with that he fired one last shot, eliminating the last target. Turning to Ironhide he saw the leaking energon from his arm and legs, but his eyes still shone blue. Fred took up a guarding position waiting for his titanic friend to awake fully.


	3. Chapter 3 MEDIC!

Chapter 3 MEDIC!!!

Disclaimer: I only own the Uncle Fred character; please ask before you use him.

WARNING: adult curses used.

Please read and review!! I know you have been reading so let me know what you thought. Thanks!!

_Italicized means COM link_

_Ratchet! Ratchet can you hear me? Come in! _ Ironhide had activated his COM link not to long after Fred had shot the last target.

_Ratchet here. What is the problem? _ He responded over the COM.

_We have a problem; there was an insurgence of human forces in sector 4. I have sustained minimal damage but am unable to move. My fellow companion is also in need of medical assistance. _Ironhide talked threw the link.

_Roger that; Med-evac team on the way, ETA 20 minutes. Combat team advised and on the way for cover. Ratchet out. _Severing the COM link silence descended on Ironhide while he waited for his systems to purge the excess energy.

18 minutes later Ratchet approached the scene of a small green colored human guarding Ironhide, who still hadn't purged the excess energy. Ratchet waved Red Alert to wait while he approached the human, preparing to speak but never got a chance for the human was quicker.

"Friend or foe?" Fred said leveling his glock with his left hand. His bloodied right hand he held to his side cradling the claymore remote. While he had waited he had planted various claymores and other explosives, wiping out his supply.

Ratchet stood there and cocked a head to the side, he almost laughed. _No wonder Ironhide has met this human on a regular basis. They were of the same make, only there was a size difference. _"I am a friend of Ironhides, I was called here over his radio. You would not be able to hear it for that is an internal function." He explained, "I am a medic and wish to aid both you and Ironhide."

Fred seeing he was out numbered did not really have a choice, but he'd be dammed if he didn't go out with a bang. "Prove it, how did he get that melt scar on his torso and leg?"

Ratchet signed at this. "Those are from when we first discovered that mechs could change wave length to the optics. They flanked his team and pinned them down. Only luck let them escape from the fight."

"Good enough. Now ill let you do your work. I know nothing of fixing people, only basic field medicine." Fred said lowering his gun and moving to extract pressure bandages for his wounds.

Ratchet seeing this moved in waving Red Alert in to aid Fred, with his sensors he registered that the combat team had been in position the whole while. Ready to fire on any foul movement. Quickly scanning the two he assessed that Fred had a punctured lung with resulting pneumothorax, (collapsed lung). His hand had a clean wound and would need time and rehabilitation to heal. Ironhide had both struts to his legs bent making his legs useless. His right arm also had twisted metal and cable damaged. Both warriors leaked their respective species blood.

Once keying Ironhide's system to purge the energy, effectively charring a nearby tree, the task of moving the two began. This task was one of great frustration to Ratchet. He needed to start treatment on the two ASAP and their stubbornness was not helping! Ironhide insisted he could walk on his own, to only have his legs collapse under him. Then when Red Alert tried to aid him in getting up, the old black mech had punched the young medic cursing how he could get up on his own. The human who Ratchet learned was named Fred was no different, he refused to be carried and transforming in the forest to allow him to ride was impractical due to the trees. Finally a compromise was made, Ironhide was aided in "walking" by two mechs putting his arms over there metal shoulders. Fred agreed to be put on Red Alerts shoulder so he could see a greater distance and thus keep and eye out for more enemies.

Once in the med bay Ratchet began patching up Ironhide. Red Alert tried to aid Fred in bandaging and cleaning his wounds but the stubborn man just waved the gigantic mech away. "I've had worse than this. I'm a soldier not a child, I can handle this."

"Fred." Ironhide's gruff voice sounded threw the med bay. "Part of being a soldier is also excepting help." He sat still while Ratchet worked on his legs. Ratchet had long learned that Ironhide's stubbornness was out of not looking weak. Once you got the old mech in the med bay he would obey all the orders you gave him, though not with astounding joy.

"Your right, my friend." Fred wheezed. "I need to stop being stupid. Red Alert, i'm sorry, please carry on with your job." At this Fred sat still while Red Alert washed and bandaged his hand. This task awed Fred, for the shear size difference of the two, yet the mech was doing everything as if the size difference wasn't there. When it came time to inflate Fred's lung, Red Alert called Ratchet over to do the procedure. The senior medic had more experience with human anatomy than he.

Ratchet spoke to Fred, "I apologize but we do not have any analgesics here in the med bay. We do not have to treat many humans for serous conditions."

"Its ok doc, just doing your job." Fred responded.

Once Fred was lying down Ratchet began the procedure all the while explaining anatomy and technique to Red Alert. After making a sterile field Ratchet inserted the boring needle into Fred's side, causing him to grimace but not move. Pulling back on the plunger of the needle Ratchet looked at Fred. Sweat pour down the man's green painted head, yet he didn't make a sound nor move. Ratchet marveled at the resolve of humans and finished inflating the man's lung. Once he was done he bandaged the area and left him to finish repairs on Ironhide.

Half an hour later Ironhide had his leg struts and cables repaired. Moving over to where Fred lay, obviously in pain due to the etched features on his face. Sitting on the spacious berth he began to talk to Fred.

"Thank you for saving me, and for guarding me." He said this in a gruff almost not thankful tone.

"No, it's my job." Fred said, "Besides I can't let one of my own go down, you saved my life just as much as I saved yours."

The two sat resting, having been ordered on light activates and ten days off duty for Ironhide. Fred was expected to have at least twenty days for recovery from his wounds. They didn't mind the ordered rest; it was only a respite from the ordinary. Soon they would be back to the field.

Authors note: thus ends the short saga of Uncle Fred and Ironhide. Please let me know what ya thought of this story. Thanks!

Ps. Thank you flamingmarsh for being my reviewer, I basically finished this story for ya so you could see the end. Hope you enjoyed it. Yes feel very special you have a whole story written just for your enjoyment.


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